Life Back To Normal....Psych!!..........NOT

Life was just chugging along.  We were adjusting quite well to parenthood, the ups, downs going outside to 'water a tree' events etc.  It was, after all, life.  We always wanted more kids, but try as we did, it just wasn't in the cards.  There was one other positive test in 2005 and yet another heartbreaking early loss.  It was early 2007 and time for that women-love-everywhere yearly appointment and I described my frustrations to my doctor prior to my exam.  He said he'd discuss options afterward.  During the exam he felt something on or near my right ovary that he thought might be a cyst, which would account for the pain I would have mid-cycle during ovulation.  He sent me for an ultrasound a week or two later and it was discovered that it was a cyst.  He said I could either wait a cycle or two to see if it went away on it's own or try shots of Lupron to reduce it's size.  The only caveat to the drug is that it would put me in a chemically induced menopause.  Considering our difficulties, I opted for the shots.  I would get them once a month and then an ultrasound in a month or two afterward to check progress.  Shot one....not bad.  I hated the fact that it could only be administered in my rear-end.  The menopausal symptoms were not fun...normal....psychotic bitch....normal.  The fact that my belly seemed always bloated wasn't fun either, but I was indulging in anything and everything chocolate at the time.  Just before shot number 2, I was examined and had mentioned to the doc my belly bloating.  I looked, honestly, like I was pregnant which I knew I wasn't.  He said to me that muscle tone decreases with each pregnancy and that technically I had been through two.  I wasn't sure whether to agree, cry or kick him.  I was deciding that during the subsequent examination.  I noticed he had a rather puzzled look on his face as he stated he was having trouble 'feeling' what he should be feeling.  He mentioned that it could be gas but really didn't seem overtly concerned as the Lupron could have this type of effect.  Off for shot number two.  I forget how long after shot number two, whether it was days or weeks, but it was nearing March of that year and before I was going to get shot number 3, I demanded an ultrasound to see if this bastard of a cyst(my words, not his) has gone down any.  He agreed and I was scheduled, actually right away.  I recall going in and the male tech putting the cold gel stuff on and proceeding.  Then it got quiet......way too quiet.  He had asked why I was sent for this and I told him my story in a nutshell and that I wanted to see if the cyst shrunk any.  I even mentioned the fact that the doctor stated my belly size, which seemed to be getting bigger by the week, may have been gas.  I recall this so clearly as if it happened yesterday.  Whether or not the tech was supposed to tell me anything, hell it may have even been a physician doing the test...he turned the screen so I could see and pointed out all this black space.  He stated "see that black area?? You have a lot of it.  It's not gas, it's fluid".  His advice was to go to the desk and have me call my doctor ASAP and convey to him the news.  He was right there when I made the call.  At the time of that call, I had NO CLUE what was going to happen.  My gut was telling me it wasn't going to be good, but never in my life had I ever imagined what I would be told next.