Is THIS Love??

I was 16 and needed a date for prom.  Actually, I really, really wanted to go and unfortunately, no one had asked me yet.  Still determined, I made up my mind to quit waiting for the question and ask it myself!!  After all, I was a strong and determined woman(though I didn't know it....yet).  I forget the actual day, but I remember being in a bowling alley parking lot hanging with friends.  A guy friend, from another school, was taking his girlfriend(who attended my school).  He was there with his friend, a guy I thought was cute who had this incredible head of curly hair.  I was like, okay, it's now or never.  Still being shy, I called my guy friend over and asked him to ask his friend if he would go to prom with me.  They took a walk inside the bowling alley.  It was the longest 10 minutes of my life.  Then, the doors opened and they walked out.  At that moment, the world stopped.....time stopped...I stopped...waiting for the answer.  His guy friend came over to me, smiled and said.....YES!!!!  Turns out he liked me, I kind of liked him.  So, not only did I end up with a prom date, I got a boyfriend.  We ended up together for 9 years, were engaged, he cheated on me, was planning a wedding with someone else at the same time we were planning ours etc.  To quote the late George Carlin "It was a Mongolian cluster fuck".  I was devastated, nearly killed myself, swore of men forever.  All this while, fate was working her wonderful hand and, though at the time I didn't know this, it ended up being a blessing in disguise.

My Very First WTF Moment......

Dealing with the pretty girls making fun of me(we all went to Catholic school) was hard enough and then this was thrown in the mix and I was like, WTF!!??  I remember I was 9 and my sister was 12.  We were always at my grandparent's house because they were our 'daycare'.  I think it was summer, though I can't be sure.  I just knew we were at grandma's house.  Like most women/girl's do, we shared bathroom trips.  I recall, before going in, telling my sister I had something funny looking on my underpants and I wasn't sure what it was.  It petrified me and I wanted to call my mom at work.  She grumpily pulled my into the bathroom to have a look.  She had a look see and said, you're getting your period.  I sort of knew what that was, but really wasn't absolute in my knowledge.  I just remember changing, asking my aunt for something called a pad and went about the rest of my day.  Next thing I remember, a package, rather long and boxy, came in for me.  It was a 'period kit' from a company called Stayfree.  Filled with small books on what a period was and what type of 'pads' there were and how to use them, my guess is that this was my mom's way of having 'the talk' without actually speaking to me.  All I know is every 28 days, this was going to happen, so I had to prepare myself.  I always had a calendar and would count, making sure around that 28th day, I started wearing those stinking pads so I wouldn't soil my underwear.  It felt so weird being in 5th grade and having to do this, praying to God no one would notice and hoping I didn't stink.  I started carrying a purse and even bringing my dirty pads home(gross, I know) so that no one would see.  None of my friends had theirs yet and at the age I was, I couldn't explain to them what was going on.  This was at a time as well, where they still had the protection you had to pin to your underwear and I HATED those with a passion.  Thankfully, technology was catching up and most were the adhesive type.  I was afraid to go to slumber parties when I had it, doubled up on underwear so it wouldn't shift and cause an accident(my mother didn't like when I accidentally had a leak) and became a recluse for 5 to 7 days every month.  That lasted until high school, where it still seemed an embarrassment when you were 'on the rag', but more friends were getting theirs and I had girls I could relate to, FINALLY. 

Where It All Started(from the beginning, of course; silly reader)

I was floating, I'd like to say free, but it was quite confined in there.  Water was all around me and there was a light down by my feet.  I was cozy and warm, albeit I was soaked to the bone, but edging ever so closely to the light.  Then, out of the light, emerged a gloved hand that hurriedly grabbed my feet and swung me around in my pool of goop.  I was dizzy, disoriented and I had just been disrupted in the only home I had known(bastard doctor).  I opened my eyes and the light blinded me.  I was cold, shivering and crying. The doctor handed me to this wonderful person he referred to as 'mom'.  The day was January 29, 1971.