The Whole Story

This picture was taken at our niece's wedding.  We had such a great time. If only we knew what hell would be brought upon us later that month and beyond.  Towards the end of that month, I started a new job.  On the morning of my 4th day, my husband took himself to the ER in an extreme amount of pain.  He thought he had another kidney stone.  I called him on my break, where he said something that literally took my breath away:  it wasn't a kidney stone, it was a 15 cm tumor in his liver.  I immediately went into caregiver mode as I knew he wouldn't ask the doctor's the right questions, or take notes(selective hearing, like all men).  I spoke with my supervisor, who reminded me of the strict training policy, but agreed I should be there.  Off I went.  He was in the hospital for 5 days.  I went back to work as he was well and said he would be fine.  He had a biopsy which didn't have enough cells for diagnosis.  He saw a specialist who scheduled a biopsy and advised him to go back to work which he did. 

Two days being back, I came home from my job, and he didn't look well.  All the symptoms that landed him in the hospital last time, resurfaced with a vengeance.  I panicked because we were aware of the tumor, so I called an ambulance and we went to the same hospital(that he was discharged from 2 weeks prior).  The ER docs treated him like a junkie looking for meds, treated him and streeted him and we went home.  After being home just about 2 hours, he got up to use the bathroom and fell.  Because we thought it was from the meds given in the ER, I got him settled back on the couch, barf bag in hand with Gatorade at the ready.  This whole time the pain and vomiting never, ever stopped.  After speaking with the specialist he saw and his own doctor, it was felt he would be better served at the hospital where the specialist was, which was over an hour away.  So, I told him to slowly start getting ready.  Then it happened again. 

BOOM!! He hit the floor and because I couldn't tell whether or not he hit his head, I advised him to stay still, I was calling the ambulance again.  Yes, his second ambulance ride in 16 hours.  Only because of the distance to the other hospital, we had to go local again and press for transfer.  So we went local, only to another neighboring hospital.  You've heard the term 'hell broke loose' and 'the sh*t hit the fan"?  These both happened in spades.  Nurses were all around him, hooking him up to machines, inserting IV's, taking blood.  The poor guy, still dry-heaving and begging for water. They took him for testing and brought him back.  Then the doctor who was the director of the hospital came to speak with me.  My heart sank. 

Not only was my husband severely dehydrated(duh!!), his blood sugars were over 600(he's a type 2 diabetic), he was bleeding into his abdomen causing his hemoglobin level to be at a 5 and he was septic going into shock.  All of which were not good at all.  I didn't have to press for transfer, the doctors suggested it.  So he had his third ambulance ride via helicopter to a better equipped facility.  After a 4 day ICU stay and a subsequent stay in a step-down unit, he was stabilized, doing well, but this time, with a definitive diagnosis of the tumor: Advanced Primary HCC(hepatocellular carcinoma) with invasion into the portal vein.  He was in for a fight. 

After a meeting in a multidisciplinary clinic, where you see many doctors in one day),  we were told the tumor was un-resectable(no surgery at all) and due to portal vein invasion, not eligible for a transplant.  The only options were to try to shrink the tumor and/or take sorafenib.  Traditional chemo doesn't work well on this type of cancer.  Radiation has had some positive effects.  Targeted therapies work best, so that's where he is at right now.  He has a mapping(to see which vein feeds the tumor) and then he will have a radioembolization a week later.  All hoping to kill off the tumor, shrink it so that his life can be extended as much as possible.  A specialist, from whom we got a second opinion(of all records and imaging) stated that on average, people with this type of cancer live about a year after diagnosis, sometimes longer and survival(length of) is variable. 

We have insurance, for now, but not sure how much longer as I believe it runs the same length of time as his short term disability(which started November 2018).  Bills are coming in left and right, aside from our usual bills.  We have a 14-year-old son who is literally eating us out of house and home(as they tend to do).  The job I had may be rehiring me in March(I have an interview this Tuesday).  My heart is torn because I want to have as much time with my husband as humanly possible, yet we need to pay our bills, keep our house, feed ourselves and our son(pets too).  We are not ones to ask for help.  If you can, though, please do so.  Please Help Our Family!

Running Scared

with neither of us working right now, I am uber scared of the future.....will we lose our house, will the bills gets paid, what about the taxes etc. Most of all, will my husband make it? All my energy is focused on him and his quality of life.  Any help, anything, would be so greatly appreciated.  You can visit the page here Help With Medical Bills

Thank You and May God Bless You All

And The Walls Came Crumbling Down

My husband has advance stage liver cancer.  What am I going to do??

Teenage Boys Are Just.....Aaacckkkk!!!!!!!

Watch This Video!!!

I'm ready to pull my hair out already with this child....er.....young man.

The Key To A Healthier You Is................

BIOHACKING

Worked For Me and It Might Work For You.....

Here is what you have to do to lose weight:
Get the app, My Fitness Pal. Set a goal weight for yourself and the app will tell you your caloric content for the day, including how many carbs, sugars, protein etc. Measure, measure, measure. Portion everything and log everything in the app. Sounds monotonous, but it will become habit. Instead of regular yogurt, switch to greek. It has a higher protein content. Oh, PROTEIN IS THE KEY TO WEIGHTLOSS!!. Try to maintain at least 60 grams of protein daily. You don't really have to give up anything, just portion, portion, portion(even pasta). Get rid of the junk food in the house, ALL OF IT. Get those protein snacks you use to and protein granola bars. Cheese is a great snack because of the protein. Don't worry so much about fat content of anything. It's the protein and carbs you really need to pay attention to. Drink water. You can exercise if you wish. I usually just dance around the house and I mean dance. Think about it: A great rocking 5 minute song dance can really burn some calories. DO NOT eat past 8 pm. You don't need pills, drinks, or anything. The only possible drink is a protein shake, but ALWAYS READ LABELS before buying as many are still high in sugars and carbs. Try this and I guarantee you, you will lose weight the right way, slow and steady.

Excuse me?? I have what???

It started with an immediate CAT scan as they were awaiting blood test results.  The blood work showed something called an elevated CA-125.  They were awaiting CAT scan results.  No one would tell me anything until the gyn doc was told.  Not a blip, not anything.  My mind was in overdrive.  And it hurt to breathe...like literally.  I recall being admitted and wasn't going to be allowed to leave until the gyn doc made his rounds, which took FOREVER.  I waited, and waited.  I didn't want to stay overnight, just let me out of here.   But no, gyn doc had to see the chart and peruse the results before anything could be done.  Bastards!!  I had my mom and aunt on stand by to spring me out once I got the good(or bad) word.  At 11 pm, the good doc finally showed up.  He talked around the results almost as if avoiding saying what he thought.  I believe referral to another physician at another hospital was being put into play.  This part is all kind of fuzzy, but it's relayed to the best of my recollection.  I was finally sprung at almost midnight.  It still hurt to breathe or even move the upper part of my body.  Nothing was ever said about that.  All I know is I couldn't wait to get home.  And I thought I was going to be left alone.....bwahahahaha.  The first appointment was actually with radiology for a 'tapping' to get rid of the massive amount of fluid in my abdomen.  Much like a keg is tapped, so was I....some local anesthetic and a larger that life needle was inserted(with radiographic guidance) and I was tapped.  Filled about 4.5 quarts of a beer-looking substance.  Felt so much better afterwards, but the idea was tossed around for monthly tappings.  Oh joy.  Then Upon getting home after this, I was able to relax, sort of, so I decided to get onto the all wise Internet and look up an elevated CA-125.  That, I should not have done.  Turns out, CA-125 or cancer-antigen 125, is a tumor marker.....for ovarian cancer.  I recall not being told, at first, what my result was.  Then I recall, some one saying it was 1799.  Normal is 35 or less.  Not good.  Then I recall, quite quickly, getting into see that other doctor.  He was a gynecologic-oncologist.  The C word wasn't stated at this point...at all.  In retrospect, the local doc wouldn't say because I don't think he was sure.  I remember going down, not to an office, but to a hospital, which I thought was weird.  Like, why couldn't I got to his office.  I recall getting there on a Friday and was admitted(again, weird to me).  The time came and I got to meet the good doctor and a few of his fellow doctors.  They all looked at my results and recommended surgery ASAP to definitively see what they were dealing with.  I recall looking at my husband(who was trying to corral our then 2.5 year old son) saying but we wanted to have one more child.  They looked and stated that if we did, it would have to be IVF and it would have to work the very first try.  At this point, I looked at the doctor, absolving him from any repercussion in answering the question I was to ask him:  Do you think I have cancer?.  He shook his head yes and that if it were up to him, not to put off surgery.  My husband and I agreed.  It was scheduled for that Sunday.  Prep was to start the following day.  It was late in the evening before they were able to give me anything to eat.  It was a Friday during Lent.  I honestly think a nurse gave up her tuna sandwich so I could have something.  It almost felt like a Last Supper.  Things were never the same after that, nor will they ever be.