First Angelversary

Well, it's here. Ron's one year angelversary. I kept up thinking and will continue to do so, of the good memories, the great times. This was the WORST year ever, but somehow God graced me with the strength to persevere, for our son and for myself too 

A Life, Yet Well-Lived, Gone Way Too Soon.

Shortly after 5 am. Saturday May 11, 2019, my husband, Ron, died at 53 years of age.  My son and I are lost little puppies not knowing which direction to go in. He was my true North, my everything. What do we do now??

The Whole Story

This picture was taken at our niece's wedding.  We had such a great time. If only we knew what hell would be brought upon us later that month and beyond.  Towards the end of that month, I started a new job.  On the morning of my 4th day, my husband took himself to the ER in an extreme amount of pain.  He thought he had another kidney stone.  I called him on my break, where he said something that literally took my breath away:  it wasn't a kidney stone, it was a 15 cm tumor in his liver.  I immediately went into caregiver mode as I knew he wouldn't ask the doctor's the right questions, or take notes(selective hearing, like all men).  I spoke with my supervisor, who reminded me of the strict training policy, but agreed I should be there.  Off I went.  He was in the hospital for 5 days.  I went back to work as he was well and said he would be fine.  He had a biopsy which didn't have enough cells for diagnosis.  He saw a specialist who scheduled a biopsy and advised him to go back to work which he did. 

Two days being back, I came home from my job, and he didn't look well.  All the symptoms that landed him in the hospital last time, resurfaced with a vengeance.  I panicked because we were aware of the tumor, so I called an ambulance and we went to the same hospital(that he was discharged from 2 weeks prior).  The ER docs treated him like a junkie looking for meds, treated him and streeted him and we went home.  After being home just about 2 hours, he got up to use the bathroom and fell.  Because we thought it was from the meds given in the ER, I got him settled back on the couch, barf bag in hand with Gatorade at the ready.  This whole time the pain and vomiting never, ever stopped.  After speaking with the specialist he saw and his own doctor, it was felt he would be better served at the hospital where the specialist was, which was over an hour away.  So, I told him to slowly start getting ready.  Then it happened again. 

BOOM!! He hit the floor and because I couldn't tell whether or not he hit his head, I advised him to stay still, I was calling the ambulance again.  Yes, his second ambulance ride in 16 hours.  Only because of the distance to the other hospital, we had to go local again and press for transfer.  So we went local, only to another neighboring hospital.  You've heard the term 'hell broke loose' and 'the sh*t hit the fan"?  These both happened in spades.  Nurses were all around him, hooking him up to machines, inserting IV's, taking blood.  The poor guy, still dry-heaving and begging for water. They took him for testing and brought him back.  Then the doctor who was the director of the hospital came to speak with me.  My heart sank. 

Not only was my husband severely dehydrated(duh!!), his blood sugars were over 600(he's a type 2 diabetic), he was bleeding into his abdomen causing his hemoglobin level to be at a 5 and he was septic going into shock.  All of which were not good at all.  I didn't have to press for transfer, the doctors suggested it.  So he had his third ambulance ride via helicopter to a better equipped facility.  After a 4 day ICU stay and a subsequent stay in a step-down unit, he was stabilized, doing well, but this time, with a definitive diagnosis of the tumor: Advanced Primary HCC(hepatocellular carcinoma) with invasion into the portal vein.  He was in for a fight. 

After a meeting in a multidisciplinary clinic, where you see many doctors in one day),  we were told the tumor was un-resectable(no surgery at all) and due to portal vein invasion, not eligible for a transplant.  The only options were to try to shrink the tumor and/or take sorafenib.  Traditional chemo doesn't work well on this type of cancer.  Radiation has had some positive effects.  Targeted therapies work best, so that's where he is at right now.  He has a mapping(to see which vein feeds the tumor) and then he will have a radioembolization a week later.  All hoping to kill off the tumor, shrink it so that his life can be extended as much as possible.  A specialist, from whom we got a second opinion(of all records and imaging) stated that on average, people with this type of cancer live about a year after diagnosis, sometimes longer and survival(length of) is variable. 

We have insurance, for now, but not sure how much longer as I believe it runs the same length of time as his short term disability(which started November 2018).  Bills are coming in left and right, aside from our usual bills.  We have a 14-year-old son who is literally eating us out of house and home(as they tend to do).  The job I had may be rehiring me in March(I have an interview this Tuesday).  My heart is torn because I want to have as much time with my husband as humanly possible, yet we need to pay our bills, keep our house, feed ourselves and our son(pets too).  We are not ones to ask for help.  If you can, though, please do so.  Please Help Our Family!

Running Scared

with neither of us working right now, I am uber scared of the future.....will we lose our house, will the bills gets paid, what about the taxes etc. Most of all, will my husband make it? All my energy is focused on him and his quality of life.  Any help, anything, would be so greatly appreciated.  You can visit the page here Help With Medical Bills

Thank You and May God Bless You All

And The Walls Came Crumbling Down

My husband has advance stage liver cancer.  What am I going to do??

Teenage Boys Are Just.....Aaacckkkk!!!!!!!

Watch This Video!!!

I'm ready to pull my hair out already with this child....er.....young man.

The Key To A Healthier You Is................

BIOHACKING